Lets talk about Sex, baby, lets talk about you and me. Okay, okay I will stop. No blushing now, we are all on our Perpetual Beta path and it is not for the faint of heart….
As you can tell, I had a veryyyy enlightening day. So much so that I had to share just in case there were other women out there who could relate and/or find this information useful.
During my lunch, I attended an A4M webinar (fun fact, I used to work for them)! It was called, “Supporting Low Libido in Women- Are you the missing the Boat?” hosted by naturopathic physician, Jacyln Chasse. It was designed for health professionals but a lot of the material was really helpful as a consumer. The topic was low libido, not just in postmenopausal women, but in younger women too.
Here is what I learned:
*Medically, there is no “normal” libido level for women and there has never been a correlation between libido and your ability to enjoy sex when you do have it! Where the problem arises is what our minds and attitudes pre-determine we should be doing, our society is after all, hyper-sexualized.
*Some of the contributions of low libido in women include hormone imbalance, hypothyroidism, depression, alcohol use, medications, and chronic illness. Testosterone is the most important hormone for a few reasons, it helps the ovaries develop quality eggs, and helps the ovaries with their overall function, meaning they will respond better to arousal. Estrogen is also important as well, for lubrication, and hormones of relief post-sexy time. See some notes below about how to spot which of your hormones could be off, but please remember there are MANY other hormones and chemicals in your body, and your doctor should always be part of your work towards a healthier life.
*Signs of low T: low sex drive, fatigue, poor muscle tone, weight gain, sleep disturbances, irregular menstrual cycles
*Signs of low Estradiol: Low libido, light menstrual cycles
*Signs of Hypothyroidism: Fatigue, dry skin, weight gain, hair loss, and constipation
Dr. Chasse gave some amazing thoughts on the supplements and healthy foods that could help rebalance some of these naturally occurring hormones in your body, but her advice at the end was what really got me:
Men and women are SO different. But its also more than that, its not like same-sex couples are immune to these problems. It is about each partner maintaining their individuality so the erotic mind can thrive. There is a paradox between domesticity and desire. We want and need both! Like I always say, in every woman there is a Norman Jean and a Marilyn Monroe 😉 But these are two needs on the very opposite ends of the spectrum. I was also elated when Dr. Hasse mentioned one of my favorite authors of the moment, Esther Perel, who has pioneered this philosophy to help couples. I will be writing a full post dedicated to her next, so stay tuned…
In the meantime, share in the comments below, how do you keep the spark alive?